overdue update

‘Tis a long post. Beware. And non coheren.t

Conflict.

Conflict, is the basis of every dramatic narative.
It’s the basis of books, it’s the basis film, it’s the basis of movies, it’s the basis of motion pictures.
I know. The last three are the same.
Without conflict, the protagonist lack purpose. Lacks meaning. Lacks narrative.

In a good narative story is the protagonist faces conflicts in a twisted and somtimes complicated path that eventualy changes him, as a character, and otherwise his journey is pointless.

I had a very interesting meeting this morning and it’s implications might be crutial and important to my carreer and the future of my day time sleep, my vampiric lifestyle, and my self development as a creator.

Lately, as i do every so often, and write in this blog consequentally, i’ve been thinking about it. Again.


I’ve have got me a few (mostly) televised influences, The office (US), Extras (UK), A long lecture about one’s life’s achivement by an author I have never read anything he wrote called Neil Gaiman, and a short film called Don Herzfeltd’s Rejected.
The Office is a romance story. A modern age romantic comedy in the pretence of a mockumentary. Love triangle, Secret romances, couples, singles, it all one big gooyie sticky romance novel. But in a form of a weekly “comedy” show. It’s genius.
Extras depicts the pathetic existance of Andy, portrayed by the comedy genius Rick Gravais, (who had also created “The Office”), and Andy’s struggle to become a successful and respected tv creator (and actor), and his failures. I really relate to him, like any good fiction where you relate to the protagonist.
The long Gaiman lecture which was mostly unintangable to anyone who isn’t familiar with his work (comics, books, or dark movies), reminded me that there are a bunch of people that can talk about following their dreams and succeed. He was one of them.
The later is a very funny animation film with the style of drawing I can call my own. If you’re keen, try and watch this film, and compare it to the drawings i made in “Holy Crap Version 3” that was up here a while ago.
I watched it for the 4th time just now.
I kept thinking: “This is SO funny, this is SO good, this is SO simple, if i wanted to, and had some more insight i could very well make something like that.”

Could I ? Would I ? Should I ?

When I was in high school, i was part of a tv show production (you might have read about it before). I made tv. some of it was good, some of it was bad, and some of it was almost entirely my creation. Most of it was team efforts, and influenced by the creative views of a collective of people, some more distinct than others.
I keep dreaming that if i’d made some diffrent choices, or even with the current choices i made, I could be the director of a good TV show or movie.
But can i write one ? I’m not sure i am a writer (present blog excluded).
I know what i am not, i’m not a reader.
Does that disqualifies me as a director ? I guess not entirely

Mofradi (a friend from the time of that TV show i was part of) talked to me two weeks ago about my dreams of becoming a hollywood director. I told him i know a few, personally and that i email with them. And that one of them Roger Nygard, who directed an episode of that all too good show “The Office” that i’ve become addicted to, is not that diffrent from me or him, and that he is purly motivated by his dedication, and even though Mofradi claims that the odds are slim to none to become a success i still dream.
Should i have gone (at an outragous price) to Robet McKee’s story seminar ? Mofradi, and many others told me i should because it’s very good, and everyone who wants to be part of narative story telling should.
My computer games tell narative stories.
I was also told I could learn everything by reading his book. Even Roger Nygard that told me that. I don’t see myself ever reading his book.
Will it make me a lesser storyteller ? Perhaps.
Perhaps not.

Al Lowe wrote me about the clip form last post:
Heh, heh. Congratulations. Nice job, but the video’s too short.
Yeah it’s too short. Everyone’s a critique..
I hoped he’s put it up on his Cyberjoke page so the world could see, but only 40 people watched it so far.

I’m in conflict.
I want to be able to do stuff purely by myself, that at the end of the day, i can point it to people and say :
HEY ! I MADE THIS !
Sit Ubu sit, Good dog.

Making a computer game is a team effort
What happends when your team refuse to put effort in your game ?
It is apparant i cannot do too many great things alone.
Like every computer game player, i need constant gratfication. I need to feel my experience going up. I need to think i’m gonig to level if i keep grinding those monsters. I need someone to chat with at 3AM. I need ways to funnel my creative outbursts, effectively, and with success, and with positive rewards. And I want to thank my agent, the studio, my lovely girl friend, and LeChuck2k, who today began his first day in his last year when people tell him “You’re almost 30”. I’m almost exactly half way through, and still feeling I havn’t accomplished it.
Also Mazal tov to Dave Gilbert who’s a nice fellow independent game developer from New York, who laucnhed his new website http://www.wadjeteyegames.com/ today.

I’ve recently played “The Shivah“, An old school adventure game about a rabbi and a murder mystery. Highly recommended. Worth every one of those 5 dollars.

So, good luck Dave, may you never get game-designer block or get ditched by your game co-workers..

P.S YouTube is annoying. You go looking for 1 Gaiman clip and you are sucked into watching old stuff you’ve seen already, but make you laugh.