I feel tremendously betrayed.
Utterly, and completly betrayed.
For anyone who DON’T know. The one thing i hate most about this world is smoking. It the most disgusting, vile, revolting, sickening thing that can ever human beings created.
I don’t like smoking, cigarettes, pipes, cigars. And worse, joints, bongs, and all other drugs.
The only smoke i’m willing to tollerate is smoked foods (mostly hams) and bonfires.
Smoke is bad. Smoke is evil. Smoke is simply disgusting.
I even have mixed feelings regarding insence.
I was shocked yesterday when i saw one of my internet “friends” smoking. I know her from blogTV, a kind of chat room where you can see the “owner” of the room with his or her webcam. She has one and she opens it sometimes.
Up until now, i tought she was nice and cute, and funny. The way she looks. the way she acts. The way she laughs.
We talked quite a bit, she works as a make up girl, and until a week or two ago, she was boyfriendless for a long time.
About a minute after i entered her BlogTV tonight, she excused herself and went to get a cigarette. I’m not actually sure, but it actually looked like a joint. Cigarettes aren’t small, and they don’t look like that.
I got the biggest feeling of digust i had in a long while.
There, A girl, which my better judgment classifed as a “good” person, is now working for the dark side. She’s evil.
I ofcourse told her my feeelings regarding smoking.
She was trying to say stuff like “I don’t smoke”, “I only smoke a cigarette a month”, or “it’s non of your damn business what i do, and especially since you’re not my boyfriend”. These, made me get how WRONG I was in my views. My views about people.
I often find it very hard to belive how much you don’t actually know a person, and can judge him too soon.
Even if it’s judging him to be someone better then what you think he (or she) is.
Don’t get me wrong, Anybody can do whatever they want. No matter how wrong i think it is.
Some people even murder prime ministers and presidents. And can they do it, just because they can. Because they CAN smoke. Because they can get a gun and kill someone.
The ability to do something doesn’t make it right.
Just because you’re ALLOWED to smoke, doesn’t mean it’s right to do so.
One of the worst nightmares I ever had, involved catching Lee smoking.
Yes. It’s not as remotly close in it’s horrible effect on me when my nightmares involve her cheating on me with other men.
The “I Catch pepole i love smoking” Is right up there in the top 3 BAD nightmares scale. As worse as “Family member or close friend dying”.
When i get that sort of nightmare, i wake up with a feeling of completely misunderstanding.
Of misunderstanding life. Misunderstanding the universe. Of misunderstanding people.
I feel completly and utterly lost.
I hope all my friends realize I will NEVER, NEVER EVER, EVER treat ANY of you the same way EVER AGAIN, if i’ll know any of you smoke, or endorse smoking.
There’s a very good reason why none of my friends smoke. And it’s going to stay that way.
Seeing what i just saw now, I feel betrayed.
Not by her.
Not by that girl.
I feel betrayed by life.
I feel betrayed by the universe.
I feel betrayed by everything.